Physical and Emotional Safety between People at Kroka:

The Kroka community embraces the healthy physical risks offered by the natural world – which are safely managed through our staff field handbook and activity protocols. We also tend carefully to the social risks that come from living, traveling and working with diverse groups of unfamiliar people.  Much of our work takes place in a wilderness expedition setting, with a level of intimacy that would not be tolerated in most professional or educational settings: At a primitive campsite, we might find ourselves changing clothing, bathing, sleeping, and caring for our personal hygiene and toilet needs in very close proximity to others. Around the evening campfire, conversations and personal sharing bring out laughter, tears, and vulnerability – despite different political, cultural, religious, or ethnic backgrounds.

Kroka’s staff are trained and experienced in carefully creating a safe space for everyone within these unique circumstances, but we know and accept that we will all inevitably experience occasional awkward or uncomfortable moments. And while our admissions policies, staff training, and code of conduct have been incredibly successful at creating safe social environments for the Kroka community, we cannot completely eliminate the possibility that staff or students might accidentally or deliberately end up harming one another through words or actions.

PHYSICAL, VERBAL, OR EMOTIONAL BULLYING OR ABUSE

 

Here are a few examples of some physical situations and experiences that are likely to occur within the context of a typical Kroka program:

  • Holding hands in a circle, patting one another on the back, huddling in a circle with arms on shoulders
  • Gently competitive games and sports
  • Friendly inclusive teasing and joking, affirmative nicknames
  • Encouraging one another to take healthy risks
  • Encouraging one another to make a full effort at physical challenges such as chore tasks, hiking, climbing, paddling, or pedaling.
  • Inspecting personal belongings for conforming to the Kroka packing list, and even temporarily holding a student’s personal items in the interests of group safety and efficiency
  • Shouting, grabbing or pushing someone for their own protection in an urgent safety situation – such as falling out of a boat or avoiding an obstacle.

Here are a few examples of behaviors that are not acceptable at Kroka:

  • Physical Abuse – pushing, poking, kicking, hitting, biting, pinching etc.
  • Verbal  Abuse – name calling, targeted sarcasm, spreading rumours, threats, teasing, belittling, repeated and threatening use of profanity
  • Emotional Abuse – isolating others, tormenting, shaming, hiding personal belongings, threatening gestures,  ridicule, humiliation, intimidating, excluding, manipulation and coercion

Our ability to meet our basic human needs of food, water, shelter, privacy, and access to a toilet are also a critical part of our feeling of personal safety:

On Kroka programs we may experience hunger, thirst, exposure to the elements, lack of privacy, and the absence of modern toilet facilities.  We may sometimes need to eat foods that are new, unusual, or even mildly distasteful. We might need to create and maintain a hygienic toilet under very primitive wilderness conditions. Teasing, shaming, bullying, or unnecessary denial of these basic bodily needs are not acceptable at Kroka

SEXUAL MISCONDUCT, SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Acceptance and appreciation of the human body, as well as feelings of romantic love or sexual attraction are a normal and healthy experience, and staff and students may experience these feelings while at Kroka.

On a Kroka program staff and students might be encouraged to join in carefully managed familiar activities such as these:

  • holding hands in a circle
  • supportively touching someone on the arm, back, or shoulders
  • playing physical games that involve chasing, tagging, grabbing, or hugging
  • being assigned partners to work together or paddle together
  • being assigned partners to pack personal belongings into shared space within  a bag or backpack
  • exchanging personal crafts or gifts with one another
  • partnering with another person in traditional New England folk dancing
  • changing clothing in semi-private circumstances
  • swimming and bathing in outdoor wilderness settings
  • single-gender shared bathing in a communal shower or outdoor setting
  • sitting next to one another in a passenger van or sleeping in close proximity within a tent or cabin
  • verbally expressing appreciations or feelings of affection for one another
  • exchanging hugs during moments needing comfort or celebration

Kroka has zero tolerance for sexual activity between staff or students while participating in our programs, as well as a zero tolerance policy for sexual misconduct or sexual harassment within our community.

SEXUAL MISCONDUCT may take many forms, including the following:

  • Sexual assault: Non-consensual sexual activity or sexual contact.
  • Sexual exploitation: Taking non-consensual sexual advantage of another, including but not limited to secret videotaping, sharing private nude pictures with third parties, or knowingly exposing another to an STD or to pregnancy or paternity.  Exposing one’s genitals or coercing another to expose their genitals in non-consensual circumstances; observing or attempting to observe another individual’s nudity or sexual activity without the knowledge and consent of all parties involved.
  • Sexual harassment (see below)
  • Relationship misconduct: mPhysical, emotional or verbal abuse between people who have been in an intimate or romantic relationship. Threatening or coercive behavior that does not involve physical contact or violence, but that occurs in the context of a dating relationship. Examples include but are not limited to threats of violence, violation of another’s privacy or threats to do so, or physical restraint.
  • Stalking: A course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for the safety of themselves, of others, or suffer substantial emotional distress.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT:  A form of discrimination that includes verbal, written, or physical behavior that is unwelcome and is so severe or pervasive that a reasonable person would find that it alters the terms or conditions of a their employment or educational experience, unreasonably interferes with a person’s work or performance in a program, or creates a hostile or abusive working or educational environment. Sexual harassment is directed at someone because of that person’s actual or perceived sex , gender, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, sexual identity, or is based on gender stereotypes. Some examples include the following:

  • Repeated offensive and unwelcome sexual invitations, whether or not the person submits to the invitation.
  • Unwelcome sexual invitations when a spoken or implied quid pro quo for sexual favors is connected to employment or participation in Kroka program activities.
  • Sexual assault, stalking, sexual exploitation, relationship violence, and retaliation.
  • Offensive and unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature, including sexually graphic spoken comments; offensive comments transmitted in writing, including by e-mail or another messaging system; offensive or suggestive images or graphics whether physically present in the workplace or accessed over the internet; or the possession of or use of sexually suggestive objects;
  • Severe or pervasive unwelcome physical behavior of a sexual nature, including: the touching or grabbing of another’s body; the touching or display of one’s own body, and repeatedly or suggestively standing too close to or brushing up against a person;
  • Obvious masturbation within a public space or shared space
  • Repeatedly asking a person to socialize during off-duty hours when the person has said no or has indicated they are not interested;
  • Sexual pranks, or repeated sexual teasing, jokes, or innuendo;
  • Giving gifts or leaving objects that are sexually suggestive;
  • Repeatedly making sexually suggestive gestures.

GENDER IDENTITY and SEXUAL ORIENTATION

We welcome the full diversity of gender identities and sexual orientations at Kroka.   We take gender identities into consideration when making arrangements for certain intimate activities:  bathing, sleeping, toileting, and personal hygiene.   We do not take gender identities into account when making decisions about adventure sport activities, big job assignments, chore assignments,  etc.  We attempt to use language that is inclusive of all gender identities, but we still might use the terms “girls” and “boys” – especially when working on single-gender programs.

Kroka has a zero-tolerance policy for harassment or discrimination based on gender identity.  Examples of these behaviors might include:

• offensive or derogatory remarks about sexual orientation (e.g., being gay or straight).
• offensive or derogatory remarks about a person’s transgender status or gender transition.
• deliberate misuse of names or pronouns
• using the term”girls” or “boys”  when referencing adults
• using gender identity to assign responsibilities, chores, or work tasks (“girls will do the cooking and cleaning projects“)

RACIAL and CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

Kroka Expeditions absolutely prohibits harassment or discrimination based on race, color,  national origin, citizenship, ancestry, or any other characteristic protected by federal, state, or local law.

We acknowledge that Kroka’s geographic location in rural New Hampshire, it’s philosophical origins from Russia and Western Europe, and the privileged history of outdoor adventure recreation could easily create a social culture that would be exclusive or insensitive to differences.

However, from the very beginning, Kroka has often worked closely indigenous peoples of both the North (Canada) and the South (Ecuador) and students from all backgrounds and places within the United States and beyond.  Each year we welcome a growing diversity of students who otherwise would never have encountered our values and outdoor curriculum due to differences of geography, race, culture, and privilege.

Some examples of typical experiences at Kroka that can be new or uncomfortable for some participants coming from different cultures:

  • lack of privacy (encountering strangers, living without locked doors or private spaces)
  • darkness (rural or wilderness nighttime without city lights),
  • solitude (being briefly alone in nature)
  • quiet (being in natural spaces where you cannot hear the sounds of automobile traffic, people, recorded music)
  • unplugging (being without electronic communication of cell phones or internet)
  • physical contact (holding hands, sleeping in close proximity)
  • physical challenge (hiking, walking, paddling, cycling for long distances)
  • diet (eating unfamiliar foods – especially foods that may be local, organic, or even raw and vegetarian based)
  • affirmation and acceptance of different politics, religions, gender identities and sexual orientations

Our staff and student community will work together to support all participants in working through these discomforts.  The fact that these discomforts may be experienced differently by people of different backgrounds should not be interpreted as harassment or discrimination.

Some examples of harmful situations that we are working to prevent or counteract at Kroka:

Stereotyping typically involves attributing the same characteristics to all members of a group, regardless of individual differences.  It is often based on misconceptions, incomplete information and/or false generalizations.  In most cases, stereotypes assume negative characteristics about a group.  Even those who are well meaning and not overtly biased can nevertheless stereotype.

Micro-Agressions are commonplace verbal or behavioral indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, which communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults

Unconscious Biases are social stereotypes about certain groups of people that individuals form outside their own conscious awareness. Everyone holds unconscious beliefs about various social and identity groups, and these biases stem from one’s tendency to organize social worlds by categorizing.

Stereotyping, Micro-Agressions, and Unconscious Biases, or other forms of racism can combine to harmful racial discrimination within a diverse community.

Some examples of this could include:
• failing to include, train, mentor or encourage a racialized person – (or conversely over-emphasizing training or mentoring for a racialized person.)
• subjecting a racialized person to excessive supervision
•  placing serious blame for a common mistake.
•  normal differences of opinion or failing to get along with others in the group may be treated as more serious when a racialized person is involved.

OTHER TYPES OF HARASSMENT, DISCRIMINATION, or INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR

• discrimination based on social or economic status
• discrimination based on language or linguistic ability
• discrimination based on neurodiversity

KROKA’S PROTOCOLS AROUND INTERPERSONAL SAFETY:

PREVENTION - What does Kroka do to educate ourselves and prevent interpersonal safety incidents...

All age-appropriate multi-day programs will begin with a careful and engaging review of Kroka’s code of conduct:

  • All multi-day (more than three days in length) programs  for older students (ages 13+) will begin with a review of Kroka’s code of conduct.  The code of conduct is available for students to visually read, it will be talked about, and skits will be used to role-play situations relevent to the code of conduct.    The code of conduct makes it clear that all romantic or sexual activity is prohibited during Kroka programs for both staff and students.
  • When working with a contracted group (typically schools), Kroka’s staff will have a conversation with the school group leader / class teacher to determine what code of conduct the school already has place – and then make a decision about whether or not to implement portions of Kroka’s code of conduct in addition to any existing school policies or norms.

Older staff and students will review this “interpersonal safety” document on a regular basis to ensure that everyone understands Kroka’s policies and procedures:

  • This “Interpersonal Safety” document is reviewed by all year-round staff on an annual basis.
  • This “Interpersonal Safety” document is reviewed by all seasonal staff upon hiring and during our annual seasonal staff training in June.
  • This “Interpersonal Safety” document is reviewed by all students on any programs that have any students who are 18 years of age (or older).

Staff will speak about sensitive topics with honesty and clarity while also holding strict professional boundaries:

  • Remember that you already have a strong toolkit for discussing sensitive topics with students:  toileting, bathing, menstruation, medical risk management etc.  Consider that conversations about gender or sexuality are a natural extension of that “toolkit”.
  • Center the conversation around “health and well-being” as opposed to curiosity or gossip.
  • Speak about sexual issues in the third person rather than from personal experience – remain objective rather than subjective – keep yourself out of the story:    “I know that some people have experienced…. “ – instead of – “When I was your age, I had a partner who….”

Kroka staff and volunteers will exercise caution when working one-on-one with students:

  • It is not unusual for a Kroka instructor to give one-on-one attention to a student, for example: paddling together in a canoe, mentoring a student on a big-job campsite task, or working together on a campus morning chore.
  • Whenever possible, Kroka staff should avoid being alone together with an individual student in enclosed spaces such as a tent, small building, or vehicle.  If needing to have an important one-on-one conversation with a student, it is best to do so in a private but highly visible location. If needing to be in an enclosed space together for any period of time, staff will invite other staff or students into the space.

Seasonal Staff will be trained in “consent” at the beginning of each summer season:

  • Consent is a knowing, voluntary, and mutual decision among all participants to engage in intimate physical activity.
  • Consent can be given by words or actions, as long as those words or actions create clear permission regarding willingness to engage in the intimate physical activity. Silence or lack of resistance, in and of itself, does not demonstrate consent. The definition of consent does not vary based upon a participant’s sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.
  • Consent cannot be inferred by the absence of “no.” Clear affirmative consent by words or by actions is necessary.
  • Consent to some acts does not imply consent to others, nor does past consent to a given act imply present or future consent.
  • Consent must be ongoing and can be revoked at any time.
  • Consent obtained by threat, coercion, or force does not constitute consent.
  • Consent cannot be obtained from someone who is asleep or otherwise mentally or physically incapacitated, whether due to alcohol, drugs, or some other condition.
  • The “age of consent” means the minimum age at which an individual is considered legally old enough to consent to participation in sexual activity. Individuals aged 15 or younger in New Hampshire are not legally able to consent to sexual activity, and such activity may result in prosecution for statutory rape.
  • The age of consent in New Hampshire is 16, and Kroka will follow New Hampshire laws regardless of where a program may be traveling to.  A close-in-age exemption exists for partners who are less than 3 years apart, and only when the younger party is older than 13 but younger than 16.

ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY

Kroka Expeditions has adopted a zero-tolerance policy toward sexual misconduct, discrimination, and all forms of harassment, including but not limited to sexual harassment. This zero tolerance policy means that no form of discriminatory or harassing conduct, as described in more detail below, by or towards any employee, member, vendor, student, or other person on our campus or in our programs will be tolerated. Kroka is committed to enforcing its policy at all levels within our community. Any staff member, student, guest teacher, visitor or volunteer who engages in prohibited discrimination or harassment will be subject to discipline, up to and including immediate suspension or dismissal from a program, discharge from employment, or removal from leadership.

Conduct Covered by this Policy: This policy applies to and prohibits all forms of harassment and discrimination on the basis of any protected characteristic, not only sexual harassment. Accordingly, Kroka Expeditions absolutely prohibits harassment or discrimination based on the protected characteristics of sex, age, gender identity, physical or mental disability, perceived disability, marital status, personal appearance, sexual orientation, race, color, religion, national origin, genetic information, military or veteran status, or any other characteristic protected by federal, state, or local law.

“Harassment” means an incident or incidents of verbal, written, visual, or physical conduct, including any incident conducted by electronic means, based on or motivated by an employee’s or an employee family member’s actual or perceived characteristics, that has the purpose or effect of objectively and substantially undermining and detracting from or interfering with a person’s ability to do their job or creating an objectively intimidating, hostile, or offensive environment.

Our commitment to prohibit discrimination means that no person, including employees, applicants, or students will be treated differently based on protected characteristics.  This applies to all phases of their relationship with Kroka, including personnel actions, recruitment, hiring, work assignments, compensation decisions, development or training, benefits, disciplinary action, or other aspects of our programs.

Essential Eligibility Criteria:  Many Kroka programs have some essential eligibility requirements that reflect our intention to offer a physically rigorous program itinerary, or a deeply challenging social or intellectual curriculum.  Our admissions policies for those programs will inevitably need to be selective based on a candidate’s ability to successfully complete our curriculum.

IT'S HAPPENING TO ME - What to do if you experience or witness something:

Experiencing sexual misconduct, of any kind, can be upsetting and painful. These experiences can take away a person’s sense of power and leave them feeling helpless. Seeking support can alleviate the complicated emotions that come along with these experiences. Kroka is committed to providing students and employees with emotional support, medical assistance, and accommodations when requested. The below information maps out options that a person who has experienced sexual misconduct can consider in their decision making

ASK FOR HELP:
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You can approach any Kroka staff member with whom you feel safe or comfortable with: Your program teacher, course director, senior staff member, or any director. Staff will listen, and take action to keep you safe and protect your confidentiality whenever possible.

 You can contact someone outside of Kroka to help you:  Our local partners at Adaptiva Human Resources are contracted to support Kroka staff and students by offering an independent and supportive listening ear and advice.

Jennifer Jacobs, M.A.
802-254-5875
jennifer@adaptivahr.com
www.adaptivahr.com/contact

Our friends at the Mondanock Center for Violence Prevention: have a hotline that you can call at anytime. They are familiar with Kroka and will be ready to help you. 1-888-511-MCVP

The United States Equal Employment Opportunity Commission: is also a resource for issues of employment discrimination.
1-800-669-4000

Making a Complaint to Law Enforcement
Any student or staff member who wishes to report a complaint of misconduct, (such as sexual assault, sexual exploitation, relationship violence, relationship misconduct, and stalking) directly to law enforcement may do so. Kroka staff can provide support and assistance with this process.

Medical Considerations
Individuals may wish to seek medical attention after an experience of sexual misconduct. Some of these considerations include treatment of injuries, pregnancy testing and prevention, sexually transmitted infection testing, post exposure treatment for HIV, and forensic rape examinations. Many local medical facilities across the country can provide any of the listed resources, including potential emotional support. As with any physical injury or concern, Kroka employees in the field are able to assist with risk assessment and next steps.”

Do not be afraid of Retaliation!  Kroka’s clear policy is that no Kroka student or staff member will be retaliated against for reporting discrimination or harassment. This no-retaliation policy applies whether a good faith complaint of misconduct is well founded or ultimately determined to be unfounded. No Kroka officer, director, manager, supervisor or employee is authorized, or permitted, to retaliate or to take any adverse employment action whatsoever against anyone for reporting unlawful harassment, or for opposing any other discriminatory practice in the workplace. No Kroka student or staff member will be retaliated against for reporting discrimination or harassment. This no-retaliation policy applies whether a good faith complaint of misconduct is well founded or ultimately determined to be unfounded. No Kroka officer, director, manager, supervisor or employee is authorized, or permitted, to retaliate or to take any adverse employment action whatsoever against anyone for reporting unlawful harassment, or for opposing any other discriminatory practice in the workplace.

PROTOCOLS - Guidelines for Kroka Staff responding to a report or evidence of harm

STAFF ACTION STEPS:

  1. Ensure immediate physical and emotional safety for all involved
  2. Listen carefully, reassure the person they did the right thing by sharing
  3. Seek immediate medical or psychological care if needed for all involved
  4. Report the incident to the course-director and to the senior most director on-call within the organization
  5. Ensure you have completed written documentation of the facts and observations

DIRECTOR ACTION STEPS:

    1. begin written documentation of facts as reported to you
    2. verify age of those involved and consider mandatory reporting requirements
    3. engage outside help if necessary from board members or professional specialists
    4. If the incident involves Kroka staff members, offer the possibility of anonymous reporting and/or speaking with a third-party HR consultant who is unbiased and not affiliated with Kroka.
    5. If the incident includes any possible violation of federal or state laws, consider reporting to local law enforcement
    6. inform those involved of their rights and the process that will take place
    7. conduct an investigation (with outside help if necessary)
    8. make a decision about what outcomes will be pursued (see below for examples)
    9. vet the decision with board members and consultants before executing it
    10. report to those involved (and the entire community when appropriate) about the facts discovered in the investigation and the outcomes for those involved  (while protecting confidentiality)

GUIDING PRINCIPLES:

1  Support the individual who may have been harmed: offer a safe space and any physical or emotional “first aid” as necessary.  In a wilderness setting, this might require the entire group taking a rest day with separate spaces for individuals or small groups.

2.  If you are in an office or base-camp situation, do not attempt to confront, interview, or notify the alleged “respondent or perpetrator” without getting professional help.  On a wilderness program, you may need to confront or intervene with the alleged “respondent/perpetrator” in order to ensure the safe and successful evacuation of students or conclusion of the program.

Kroka is committed to taking all reasonable steps to prevent discrimination and harassment, and we will make every reasonable effort promptly and completely to address and correct any inappropriate conduct that may occur.

Every report of discrimination or harassment will be investigated promptly and impartially, with every effort to maintain confidentiality.  For guidance on how to conduct an investigation, click here – but note that in many cases, it is likely that that investigation should be conducted by someone who is NOT a Kroka board member employee.

The complainant and the respondent will be informed of the results of the investigation. If Kroka finds that its policy has been violated, it will take appropriate corrective and remedial action, up to and including discharge of offending officers, employees, or students, and/or similarly appropriate action towards offending vendors, contractors, or members.

Privacy and Mandatory Reporting

Complaints of sexual misconduct, bullying, harassment or hazing to Kroka will be kept private to the greatest extent possible. However, Kroka does have legal and ethical obligations to share certain information with a limited number of people. As Kroka is entrusted by families with their childrens’ care and safety, Kroka needs to let parents/guardians know if their child has shared a complaint of conduct that may have significantly compromised their safety. 

All Kroka employees are mandated reporters under New Hampshire Law, and therefore required to report to the appropriate state agency any sexual activity between a person over 18 years old and a person under 16 years old (if both are students), and any allegation of sexual misconduct. As noted above, no sexual contact between any adult employee of the school (anyone over age 18) and any student—regardless of age—is permitted and any such sexual contact will be reported to law enforcement.

If a child tells you that they have been hurt or you are concerned that a child may be the victim of any type of abuse or neglect, you must call the New Hampshire Division for Children, Youth and Families (DCYF) Central Intake Unit at: 603-271-6562 or 800-894-5533.  The Intake unit is staffed 24 hours a day, including weekends and holidays.

SOME POSSIBLE OUTCOMES:

  1. having a conversation with someone to give feedback about their behavior
  2. creating a behavior contract that sets clear boundaries for acceptable and unacceptable behavior, with clearly defined future consequences if further incidents occur
  3. having a face-to-face meeting between those involved towards the goal of acknowledgements, apologies, agreements, reconciliation, restitution
  4. requiring that someone participates in an education or training program around the issues involved
  5. granting someone special accommodations towards healing and feeling safe
  6. assigning people to different housing or activities in order to create space between them
  7. dismissing someone from further participation in a Kroka program
  8. terminating an employment contract
  9. banning someone from all future participation in Kroka programs or employment at Kroka
  10. improving Kroka policies & protocols
  11. creating and implementing new trainings for staff and participants

RIGHTS: The rights of those involved in a harmful situation or complaint....

• The right to be treated with fairness and respect throughout the process.
• The right to be informed of Kroka’s policies and procedures being applied to your case, and to have those policies and procedures followed without material deviation whenever possible.
• The right to have Kroka keep your name and other information related to your complaint as confidential as possible. Information related to your complaint will be distributed on a need-to-know basis only. “Need-to-know” is typically defined by that level of information that is necessary to coordinate the provision of requested services, to protect the safety of
individuals or community members, or to administer Kroka’s process.
• The right to be accompanied by an advisor of your choice during any meeting, interview, or hearing conducted in connection with a complaint.
• The right to access to appropriate resources, support services, and interim measures in order to protect your safety and minimize the negative impacts of an incident on your work opportunities.
• The right to participate– or to decline to participate– in a Kroka process that is fair and impartial, and that provides you with adequate notice and a meaningful opportunity to be heard.
• The right to be notified of the time frame for major stages of the complaint process.  Kroka will strive to complete investigations within a reasonable timeframe, whenever possible.
• The right to have a reliable, thorough, and impartial investigation of the complaint, including the right to meet with an investigator to present relevant information, witnesses, and other evidence. You are encouraged to preserve key forensic and other evidence.
• The right to be notified in writing of the outcome of any formal process related to the complaint.
• The right to be protected from retaliation by any member of the community

• You will be informed of your option to make a report to local law enforcement—and you will not be discouraged from doing so.
• You can access to appropriate resources, support services, and interim measures in order to protect your safety and minimize the negative impacts of an incident. Available resources and interim measures may include reasonable work accommodations, housing modifications (including permanent or temporary housing re-assignments, or the provision of a temporary “safe space” on campus); counseling and psychological support; and referrals to local community agencies for services.

RESPONSE: What to do if you are accused of harming someone through your words or actions:

If someone gives you direct feedback about how your behavior may have caused someone harm:

1. Be still for a moment.
Try not to be immediately reactive or defensive, even if you feel there are points that need to be known to put your actions in context. Trust that there will be plenty of time for you to make those points later if you still feel you need to. If you don’t just want to be silent, consider saying something that shows you are listening, like, “I’m going to take some time to sit with this.”

2. Accept what you are being told.
Set aside your own understandings of your motivations and intentions and take in what you are being told about the impact of your actions/words/etc. Take some time to truly think about those impacts as valid and real, whether you understood or intended them or not. Have a conversation with yourself that starts with, “Whether I meant to or not, I hurt [impacted person/group] by [thing that’s being raised as problematic].” Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling about that, but do not try to negate the statement that your action had a specific impact. And don’t put your emotional processing out on the larger community to support and affirm. Wait to speak until you can truly accept that you did a thing that had a negative impact on others, and that your intentions are not relevant to that.

3. Apologize sincerely, without conditions.
Say that you are sorry for the impact of your actions. Not, “I’m sorry if you felt,” and not, “I’m sorry, but…” Just, “I’m sorry that when I did X it caused Y.” Make sure that when you talk about the impact of your actions, you are framing it the way it was presented by the impacted person/group and not attempting to diminish the impact.

4. Acknowledge the framework that allowed you to make that misstep.
This does not mean making excuses, it means taking responsibility. Example: “As a white person with educational privilege, I didn’t realize how calling out grammatical errors instead of focusing on the argument can be classist and racist. That’s on me.”

5. Commit to do better and have an actual plan to make that possible.
Have you been doing reading and research on the issue since you were called out? Do you have resources to go to when you have a question? Are there people who have offered to help you understand the issue better? Figure out how you are going to take concrete action to keep yourself from making the same (or related) missteps in the future and then say that you are doing so.

6. Say thank you.
Thank the person/people who called you out/in, and do so sincerely. Regardless of their tone in the moment, they were showing you a problem that you didn’t know about so that you could fix it. That deserves thanks. If people have provided emotional labor for you in the process, try to acknowledge that and thank them by name.

7. Ask if there are specific additional actions you should take.
Depending on your action and its impacts, there might be additional things you should do to help mitigate any harm caused. Ask sincerely and listen openly to any suggestions you might get. If you’re asked for something that you don’t feel able to do, see if you can get clarity around the reason for asking for that specific action. You may be able to offer an alternate action that achieves the same goal.

(thanks to Elena Perez from NonProfitQuarterly)

 

If you realize that a complaint has been made about your behavior:

  1. Do not attempt to communicate with, negotiate with, or approach the complainant
  2. Try to not discuss your version of the events or circumstances with anyone who is not acting as an official investigator

The term “Respondent” refers to an individual who is reported to have committed an act of harassment or misconduct.

RESTORATIVE JUSTICE - What outcomes do we seek after something uncomfortable or harmful has occurred:

If an incident of harm has taken place which violates local, state, or federal law, Kroka will defer to and cooperate with any legal process that has jurisdiction over the matter.

Otherwise, Kroka will work within our community using the principles of Restorative Justice:

Restorative justice seeks to examine the harmful impact of an incident and then determines what can be done to repair that harm while holding the person who caused it accountable for his or her actions. Accountability for the offender means accepting responsibility and acting to repair the harm done. Outcomes seek to both repair the harm and address the reasons for the offense, while reducing the likelihood of re-offense. Rather than focusing on the punishment meted out, restorative justice measures results by how successfully the harm is repaired.

Additionally, restorative justice seeks to include those most directly affected by an incident in the justice process, namely victims and survivors. Rather than a process focused on the offender, restorative justice focuses on those who have been harmed and the harms they have experienced. In the restorative justice process, victims are empowered to participate more fully than in the traditional system. Likewise, the community plays an important role in the restorative process by establishing standards of conduct, helping to hold an offender accountable, and providing support to the parties involved and opportunities to help repair the harm that has occurred. The opportunity to express the harm a victim has experienced, full participation in decision making, and support from the community all aid in the healing in the aftermath of something traumatic.

Restorative Justice Principles

Harassment, misconduct, and discrimination are all violations of people and relationships. These actions hurt individual victims, communities, and offenders and create an obligation to put things right. Restoration means repairing the harm done and rebuilding relationships in the community.

Victims and the community are central to the justice process. All parties should be a part of the response — a victim (if he or she chooses to be involved), community, and the offender.

A primary focus of a justice process is to assist victims and address needs. The victim’s perspective is key to determining how to repair the harm resulting from the crime.

The secondary focus is restoring the community to the degree possible. The offender has a personal responsibility to victims and to the community for wrongs committed. Parties involved in the restorative justice process share responsibility for repairing harm through partnerships for action. The community has a responsibility for the well-being of all its members, including both victims and offenders.

All human beings have dignity and worth. Victim and offender are both able to move forward with respect, and dignity, and are re-integrated into the broader community as much as possible.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: Links to additional resources for education and support

National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-656-HOPE
24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse.

National Human Trafficking Hotline 

888-373-7888

If you or someone you know is a victim of human trafficking, the National Human Trafficking Hotline is here to provide the support you need.

 

The Network La Red (lgbtqia2s+  relationship violence hotline) 

800-832-1901

The Network/La Red is a survivor-led, social justice organization that works to end partner abuse in lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, kink, polyamorous, and queer communities.

 

One Love
One Love’s mission is to educate young people about healthy and unhealthy relationships, empowering them to identify and avoid abuse and learn how to love better.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network for Sexual Assault)
800-656-HOPE
This comprehensive national resource for people of all genders and gender identities includes a telephone hotline and a secure instant messaging service. The online hotline is available to anyone directly impacted by sexual assault and connects users with a trained RAINN staff member.

Step UP! (Bystander Information)
Step UP! is a prosocial behavior and bystander intervention program that educates students to be proactive in helping others. It received a NASPA Gold award and is identified as a ‘Best Practice’ by the NCAA Sports Science Institute of national and international scholars. It is considered to be the most versatile and comprehensive bystander intervention program available.

 

Victim Connect Resource Center: Stalking
855-484-2846

Victim Connect Resource Center advocates for victims’ rights, trains professionals who work with victims, and serves as a trusted source of information on victims’ issues. 

1in6
800-656-4673

1in6 is a free and anonymous national helpline with 24/7 availability for males who have experienced sexual abuse or assault. The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences live healthier, happier lives. This includes serving family members, friends, partners, and service providers by providing information and support resources on the web and in the